Fear canNOT hold us back
Terrified of what “they” would say, I just kept at peace holding my tongue, going about my merry way of daily work. I had ideas. I spoke too loud in crowds and I over voiced my opinions. And in the most inconspicuous way, I made them listen. (Thank you Grandpa Bobby for teaching me how to not eat grapes in the grocery store).
Fear holds us back. If it scares you the most, it is probably the thing that you should face head on most. In my practice, fear is what dictates the path of people who cannot love, commit, try new things, or find tranquility in owning who they are comfortable being.
“They will judge me”. Without quotes, I can honestly say, … (quoting myself), “Who the hell are “they”?
“They” are the group who dares not to question the resilience and relentless. “They” who are afraid of embracing fear of wearing a style or expressing a view are also “they” who remain in the feared… not the Fear-LESS.
Define Your Fear
If you can identify your fears, then you can overcome. “i’m afraid of not having money”… “I’m afraid of being alone”… “I’m afraid of making it”...“because then I really won’t fit in”. Knowing what you fear is honest and truthful. The monsters under the bed go away when you turn on the lights. (Except when you watch “Little Monsters”, the movie, because that doesn’t stop.
Sketch out Your Plan to Overcome It
Great! So you’ve identified what you fear! Now what? This is what. The more educated you become about what your fear, the less power it has to hold you back. In Example:
“I’m afraid of putting myself out there because people might reject me”.
Yes, they might… and they will. It is impossible to please everyone, so why not voice what you think is right? They have a voice, and so should you!
Respect Where it Came from
Family of Origin plays its role (FOO is what I refer to it as). My grandma made me afraid of getting raped all the time… and she was right. I come from an area that is perfectly safe with beautiful culture and scenery-and amazing food! The perks outweigh the cons, but the cons exist. Its not always safe; and all she wanted to do was protect me. How can you grow from protection and evolve into confidence? Simple. Own the root of your fear, and own the curiosity it bothers so much. You wouldn’t be interested in this article if this were not the resolution.
You can’t be afraid of what you know more about. So, then, What are You Afraid Of?
Go for it!! You have an excuse, I have an answer!
“They will reject me!”: Hell no. If you aren’t being rejected daily, you aren’t putting yourself out there enough. Plan to be told “No” and have someone else chosen over you more times than not. Real success comes form learning from losing…not always winning.
“I can’t make it on my own financially”: Yes, you can. You have to look at your talents and also look at your lifestyle. Money does not equal happy. Money does not hug you when you have the flu or listen when have a bad day. It does not help you when you doubt why you are in the world. Happy comes and goes. Finances can be adjusted. You own you. No one else, no domestic currency.
Fear Holds US back! As terrifying as your vision of next steps may be, you are afraid becuase that is probably what feeds you to conquer them next.
