The Tinder Diaries: Article 2: Exhaustion of Sex Swiping
Okay, so the profile selfie is edited to perfection. Green is a go. First dates are rolling in after tiring texting and (maybe some sexting) and here we are at the second meeting. New questions are still rolling, “Is this what they looked like the first time we met”? “Do I really like this person… am I here because its Friday night and I seriously need to stop binge watching episodes of DIY shows”? The mind works through the challenges; drinks again are served in abundance, and here “we” are staring face to face. So, what next?
Um, Sex Now?
Cool, so the beer goggles are on and working in full force. Its like going through Jurassic Park with night vision and the enemy Raptor approaches, except this time, you grab the jaws and tell them lunch happens later, its time to party!
As the check is paid, the frustrations and doubts dissipate, and the Uber driver looks less appealing, check mate! Alcohol wins, charm wins, something wins. Sex and cuddling or something to that degree start to seem like a good save for the night. The smells of plug in scented oil and cool air conditioning soften the blow of what you may be walking into. Grabbing on to simple details that assist in making this seem to look like a good idea exaggerate the mind. Sex. Well, hopefully, you’ve both had just enough and not enough to make this anatomically appealing, if nothing else.
Good, Great, Pass, Another Date?
Okay, so aside from the walk of shame that the driver pretends not to be judging you for, it was an okay night. Now after we clean up, feed the animal, and thumb through FB statuses, do we text? Should we think this date will continue to the rest of the weekend? Or, do we continue to swipe left and right for a new adventure tonight? Yes, so obviously, all of the above and then if last night was decent, they become the first priority should they actually contact us again. Sex is complicated and doesn’t have to be, should it be conducted in a way that is beneficial to both parties. Its an investment, just like the apps and drinks (and time) were last night. Green grass is not always greener, but red lights to tell us to stop for a reason. Truth. Listen to your gut, because even if you’re in conflict with it, unfortunately, it is so right.
Green to Red… And I’m EXHAUSTED!!
No text. Swiped green a couple of times. The texts from one eligible pan out alright, plus your bro’s are having a thing later that makes a great back up plan (or atmosphere for showing off the new date should it be better than). Means to an end, this is exhausting! How many buzzed sex green episodes must we go through in order to just have a Naked Couch Sunday and be happy, chill at home, and cute? How MANY!! And, we continue. Exhaustion should come from happy awesome connection that made great sex 7 times today, and pizza delivery is working so hard to rebuild more carb energy for round 8. That is where energy should go in to and exhaustion should come out of. Plain and Simple. Forget green and red. Forget swiping. Forget yawns. Remember You. What is great? What feels good? Who do you want that NCS experience with? More than once?
So, okay. This one and the next, and the three before this were alright, had some flaws, and evidently were not a good fit. So, Okay! Save the energy for the ones who count, learn from the ones who don’t, and move on! It is okay that they never called. It is okay that you started sending one word texts. Why? You chose not waste any more energy pushing for something or someone who just didn’t do it for you. Remember, its all about striving for #Naked Couch Sunday.
(Okay, so Upfront self disclosure to avoid law suit: The Tinder Diaries comes from experiences from private practice and not first hand. I can be wrong and may be… But I am speaking from and for some public :))
